Step 1: Use a hand mirror and place it in between your legs so you can see your vulva. You’ll see something like this:
Quick fact! -- Your vulva is all the parts you can see outside of your body. Your vagina is inside of you.
Step 2: Use your fingers and spread your inner lips apart
Your vaginal opening is located in between your inner lips so use your fingers to spread your lips apart. You will see something like the above diagram.
Wait but mine doesn’t look like the diagram!
Don’t worry! There are as many different looking vaginas and vulvas as there are different looking faces!
Some inner labia are long and flappy, some stick out, and some are hidden inside the outer labia. Some are longer and some are shorter.
They are all completely normal so don’t worry if yours doesn’t look like the diagram. (That’s like saying your face doesn’t look like this :-) smiley face!)
Hmmm but I still can’t find or see my vaginal opening!
Your vaginal opening may not look like an open hole like it is in this diagram.
That’s because the vaginal opening isn’t just an open space you can see.
Think of your vagina as a pocket that can open up to fit a tampon or your finger. Your vagina is a flattened muscualar tube that can stretch to open up just like a pocket can open up to fit things inside.
Your opening can stretch to open up like you see in the diagram and can shrink or flatten to its relaxed state. (Remember the vaginal opening can stretch to give birth to a baby!)
Step 3: Push your finger in between your inner lips into the vaginal opening
Use your index finger and insert it into the opening.
Remember your vaginal canal isn’t perpendicular (straight up and down). Your vaginal opening is PARALLEL (sideways) to the ground. So to slide your finger in comfortably, insert it at an like in this diagram here. Just pretend the applicator is your finger.
Your finger will slide inside your vaginal opening and into the vaginal canal. This is exactly how a tampon applicator slides inside.
Your finger should slide in effortlessly. It may feel a bit weird or uncomfortable since this may be a new feeling to you but it should not be very painful.
In this step, you can choose to hold your inner lips apart or not.
What if I break my hymen?
Don’t worry, it is unlikely that you will break your hymen by sliding your finger or tampon applicator inside. The hymen is like a stretchy ring of tissue that can stretch to fit your finger or tampon applicator.
What if I accidentally put my finger in my pee hole instead?
It is impossible to accidentally put your finger or tampon applicator inside your urethral opening or pee hole. The urethral opening is too small and doesn’t stretch. Your finger is also too big.
Are you still having trouble finding your vaginal opening?
Don’t worry! I have some very helpful tips to find your vaginal opening by looking and feeling:
- Remember to relax! If you are nervous and tense up, you will also tense up your vaginal opening and it will be harder to slide your finger or tampon in. Sometimes it will just take multiple tries before you become comfortable and relax.
- Remembering to relax means relaxing your finger too. Don’t just poke at yourself! Your finger will slide in easily if you allow your finger to bend, following the natural angle of your vaginal opening.
- If you are having trouble sliding your finger or tampon in, try using some personal lubricant. If you are comfortable touching your period blood, that works too.
- If you are on your period, feel with your fingers where the blood is coming from. Your period blood leaves your body from your vaginal opening.
- It may be helpful to not look at all and just feel for your vaginal opening using your fingers. It is the only hole your finger can slide into.
- If you find that you are still tense, just give it a rest and try again in a day. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get comfortable with your body.
If you still haven’t found your vaginal opening yet, leave a comment and tell me which step you are having trouble with.
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