Hi, I am Tiffany, author of the blog Unrehearsed. I am a married mom of two, my son is 21 and is in college, my daughter is 11, starting middle school this fall.
My day job is a quality analyst for a healthcare organization. I am completely addicted to pretty things like journals and planners and am working on being more patient and living in the moment.
Unrehearsed was born from my failed blog, Gladiator in Heels. The first blog was my attempt to be the Pinterest perfect mom. The sad part about it was that I am just an ok cook, I lack patience when it comes to certain crafts, I can’t really sew and my kids are older!
Before I shut down the first blog, I noticed that there were certain blog posts that people seemed to enjoy and those were the ones about tween girls, co-parenting and self-care.
I also noticed very few blogs or websites that focus on parenting older kids. It’s funny because littles (babies and toddlers) grow up at some point and those parents needs some type of resource to deal with the changes.
Research shows that parenting tweens is more stressful than parenting babies (not trying to continue the moms wars but there are proven facts)! All of this helped me to refocus and start a new blog based on my life experiences (parenting tween girls, parenting with an ex and being not just a mom).
What “talk”, lol? One thing I am very transparent about on the blog is the lack of talking my parents and I did when I was growing up.
I remember being on the playground in 6th grade and I remember feeling something weird “down below”… I had a feeling of what was happening. I remember taking my jacket and wrapping it around my waist. So glad I did that because I had stained my pants.
I remember feeling so embarrassed, not sure if anyone saw but still the thought of my pants being stained left a sense of horror in my mind.
I didn’t have a touchy, feely mom, so she basically told me about pads and that was “the talk”. I had heard some talk about being able to get pregnant once you started your period. I heard about PMS and cramps. These weren’t topics my mom and I had but just chatter I heard from other kids and television.
I wasn’t sure of what questions to ask my mom and she didn’t really have an “open door” policy.
There were so many other things I wanted to besides talk to my daughter about periods. I honestly had to pump myself up for “the talk”. I knew that I needed to handle it differently from how my mom did and thankfully found a pretty good entrance.
One day, we were in a discount store and she wandered over to the book section. There was a cute little pink book about a girl’s developing body. She was intrigued by the colors and soon we were at the checkout counter. Once we got home, she could not tear herself away from the book. As she read, she started to ask me questions.
This little book helped with my introduction about periods. I never wanted to pressure my daughter in talking about periods, it was nice for the conversations to start on her terms.
Periods…eewwwww!!! That’s probably the sentence that runs through both a mom and daughter’s head. It can be an overwhelming topic but it’s more bearable if the conversations are bite-sized. I think it helps to be honest about your experiences when you were her age.
While you’re on your Target runs, take a stroll over to the feminine hygiene aisle. Talk to her about the different products and how to use them. Having these open conversations helps you to let your guard down and show her that you are human and a girl, too.
While it can be scary, embarrassing and worrisome, it helps to feel those emotions for the good of your daughter. She needs to see you being vulnerable, admitting your fears and how you dealt with them.
I’m an introvert so completely zoning out is self-care for me! But having a daughter who is an extrovert does not allow for many zone out moments.
Many women struggle with self-care because there just simply isn’t enough time. Self-care can simply be staying in the shower for an extra 5 minutes. 80s music (the decade of the best music) relaxes me. Working out helps, along with regular date nights with my husband. Writing is also therapeutic, it gives me the space to brain dump my life experiences while encouraging and equipping others who may have some of the same issues.
Retail therapy has an amazingly relaxing effect on me! Self care should be about things that make you happy.
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