The Daily Cramp: The Free PMS Newsletter Review

So a while ago, The Daily Cramp asked me to try out their free PMS newsletter service. It is very much like a period tracker except it emails newsletters to you or your boyfriend about your mood according to your period cycle!

The Daily Cramp sends you or your partner email newsletters to predict your mood depending on period cycle. Each newsletter comes with a hormone level chart to show you how far along you are on your cycle and a short prediction. The predictions are hilarious and kind of like a horoscope in that it can take some deciphering but the chart always helps if you don't understand it. The service is targetted for the young adult audience is sometimes NSFW.

This is a service I have never heard of before and their mascot is pretty cute too. I was really curious about how this idea came to fruition so I asked The Daily Cramp, how did this start?

"This is actually a fun story. The logo comes from one of our founders affectionately calling his girlfriend a Crazy Bear at certain times of the month. The change in her behavior was so noticeable that she actually helped him set up alerts in his calendar to give him a heads up each month! Guys are not educated at all about the female menstrual cycle. When they tell you about it in Sex Ed as a kid you cover your ears the second you hear the word blood! So recognizing how the lack of education and understanding(for both sexes) could actually adversely affect relationships we tried to figure out a fun way to deliver the message. "


To read about my experience with The Daily Cramp, click on read more!



How To Sign Up
The sign up process is very easy. If you are signing up to track your girlfriend's period, all you have to know is the date of when her last period started and the length of her cycle. Currently they only offer tracking for cycles 25 days to 35 days so if you have a shorter or longer cycle you won't be able to track your period accurately

Since our periods can sometimes be unpredictable, becoming longer or shorter without any control on our part, the Daily Cramp also has an option to adjust the length of her cycle.

Samples Newsletters
During my cycle, I received a total of 8 email newsletters. I got an email about every one to seven days and this will vary depending on how long your cycle is. Here is a sample of some of the emails I got:

1.

My parasitic twin
Gaining the freshman fifteen doesn't even begin to compare to the weight of lugging your sorry @ss around everywhere. Seriously. It's like you're my g* damn parasitic twin. You eat my food, drain my energy, and suck me dry. And if you had the chance, I'm pretty certain you'd hijack at least one of my kidneys.
I know what you're thinking... "What beeatch? I just took you out last weekend." But here's something you need to know: looking backwards, I count in dog years. But I don't stop there. I multiply dog years by 25. That's right. Dog years x 25. That means last week's gifts were received over six months ago.

So...

Get off your lazy arse and do something nice for me. No matter how much (or little) I deserve it.

The Daily Cramp: Learn the math. Then get with the program, parasite.

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To be honest, sometimes I had no idea what the messages meant and sometimes I really just didn't have the time to decipher it! Thankfully, the Crazy Bear on the Hormone chart saids it all.

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2.

People of Walmart

My cramps feel like the onset of diarrhea. And they come with an even better secondary benefit: making me feel like I belong in the next "People of Walmart" video.

Fortunately, you can soothe my inner beast with understanding and empathy. Lots of head nods, "yeses" and "you're beautifuls" will work. Bonus points if you find a way to make me laugh.

The Daily Cramp: Anti-Depression Tip: Go to your local Walmart and hang out by the fitting rooms. Instant "OMG I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT THEM!" happy.

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Yes yes! Good advice! It's true, sometimes just listening and agreeing to what I have to say during my period will make me very happy. They should also throw in offerings of chocolate.

Also when I got this email at night, I thought ok this tracking thing does not work. I don't even have my period! I went to the washroom later that night and yup. I got my period. This tracker works.

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3.

Okay so far all of these are pretty safe for work. I can open them up at school or work and the person peering over my shoulder won't report me to HR... but not so fast!

How to get a girl to climax 
 Q: How do you get a girl to climax?

A: You first caress her body, starting from her nose and moving down to her toes. Be sure to pay attention to all of her body... back, neck, arms, thighs... EVERYTHING! Don't move until she almost demands you to get further along the way. Withhold from touching her where she wants for just a little more, then go to it lightly and back away. It's the anticipation that drives her wild.

Now go down on her and watch what she responds to -- stronger pressure or really light -- and build up slow. Now place 1 finger in her vag*na. You want to tap the ceiling of the vag*na... you're aiming for the G-spot. It's a little over a square inch in size. You want to rub from inside out, like the motion of calling someone over. Start off with one finger then move to two as she loosens up. When you get to where it counts, use different strokes until she really responds, then repeat, repeat, repeat, until you bring her to the promised land.

The Daily Cramp: Study this email. There will be a test tonight.

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Now this newsletter shouldn't take too much deciphering! Day 14 of the cycle is when a woman ovulates and feels the most horny so this newsletter is very accurate and timely. 

I am not quite sure why they would sensor the word vagina. The entire message is not safe for work, I don't think it would make a difference to sensor this word!

Summary

Overall I think this is a really fun service for couples and single ladies to use. It's a great way to learn about your body and why you are feeling the way you are during different parts of your cycle. I agree with The Daily Cramp that there is a lack in sex education between the opposite sexes but even more so, the lack of sex education about your own body.

Though the emails are challenging to decipher sometimes, the hormone chart and Crazy Bear mascot make them easier to interpret. The newsletters are super funny and a great heads up for when your girl is PMSing. Even more helpful are the newsletters for Day 14, alerting you of potential sexytimes.

However, many of the emails are worthy of a NSFW tag. These are not emails you want to open at lecture or at work while your colleague or boss is peering over your shoulder.

This newsletter also doesn't list dates for the entire cycle so if you are trying to predict your next period, you will need to count the days yourself. This is not very helpful if you are a girl using this service and want to plan events around your period.

After a couple cycles using The Daily Cramp, it got easier and easier to predict my cycle and moods.  I would imagine your boyfriend will also become better at predicting your mood and knowing when he should bring your uterus offerings of chocolate. 

I really enjoyed reviewing their PMS newsletter service. I actually learned a lot about my body through their newsletters.

To sign up for the Daily Cramp, click here!

SIGN UP

Have you tried their service before? Let me know what you think in the comments!

This service was submitted to The Period Blog for consideration for review is not a sponsored post. Any compensation received will never influence the reviews, opinions, content, topics or posts made in this blog.